The Random Adventures of Vash!
by Kouji Tamino
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Great Teacher Ericks is here! Yay! Read it now! Watch Vash get possessed, Knives go crazy, and more! Story incomplete, with unseen future.
1. Elevator of Doom!

(Bobby, from my previous story, walks up on stage.)

Bobby: Yoooo!!!! Wassup, mah homies?! Bobby in da hizouse! Been a while, but we back! Here's da' 411 for all ya suckas dat be too lazy to read the previous story! 

(Kaite, the boy from the Sandsteamer incident who is now a teenager, peeks from the corner) 

Kaite: Um, I wouldn't recommend insulting future readers, Bobby! We don't want to alienate them!

Bobby: Right… Peace out… Anyway, it all started when Vash needed a job after busting a few caps into his brother, Knives! He rolled up to our school, then rocked out da' house! We was all aight wit him, except Kaite! He and Vash were all at each otha', then Mary Sue and Gary Stu came along, and all sorts of shit happened! 

Now, Mary Sue was a fine, sexy thang, but she and her brother were all messed up in da head, yo! They did all sortsa messed up shit! Anyway, after all da chaos, Vash up and blasted Gary, and all was peaceful… Anyway, ya want da whole story?! Go and read "Great Teacher Ericks" in Kouji Tamino's author page! Now ahm out… Peace! (Bobby walks off stage.)

Note from Kouji: You can't really appreciate this story unless you read "Great Teacher Ericks". I really really recommend it. In fact, if you haven't read "GTE", stop reading this, and read "GTE" NOW. 

Vash: (comes onto the stage) Um, thank you, Bobby… I think… Anyway, the author does not own Trigun… It is the creation of Yasuhiro Nightow, and is licensed by some other companies! He also does not own anything in this story except the non-Trigun characters of Mary Sue, Gary Stu, Sayuri, Mackenzie, Vish, and Bobby! And a few other characters that you don't remember! Also, the author means no harm with any jokes or stereotypes that may offend others. And now, the story! (runs off)

Kaite: Our tale begins one year after when we last left our hero…

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

__

Chapter 1: Elevator of Doom!

And so, a year passed on the planet Gunsmoke… It is a lazy, hotter than usual non-school day. Our hero, Vash, is currently passed out on the sofa, cuddling with a box of donuts. His one year old son, Vish, is playing with his father's hair. His adopted children, Gary and Mary, are off somewhere. Meryl is doing dishes in the kitchen, while Millie is eating pudding. Wolfwood is outside smoking. Knives is doing… what else, eating Trix. Anyway, this day seemed to be no different than the past 365 days. Suddenly, the door burst open. "Dad!!" Mary screamed. She was wearing her usual uniform, as I am too lazy to think of something new right now. All the other teenage characters will be wearing their school uniform unless said so. Anyway, her screaming awoke Vash with a start. He was wearing his old 'Ericks' clothes. His box of donuts went flying into the air. 

A few seconds later, Sayuri, dragging poor Kaite along with her. "Damn, she still made it here first!!" She growled. 

Mary grinned. "So, father, can you please--" she was then pushed down by Sayuri. 

"--buy me the boots!!" Sayuri screamed. 

Vash raised an eyebrow. "What boots?…"

Kaite frowned. "Sayuri, can I please go now?…" 

"NOOO!!!" Sayuri screamed.

Suddenly, they all heard a scream from the kitchen. "MY TRIX!!!" Vash's box of donuts had opened in the air, and all of the dounts landed in Knive's Trix. Knives stomped out of the kitchen. "Vash!!! You got your donuts in my Trix!!"

Vash's eyes widened, then he frowned. "Well, you got your Trix on my donuts!!!" They both stared each other down. Everyone else sweat dropped. 

Sayuri and Mary growled. "Vash/Dad, get me the Special K boots!"

"Huh?" Vash began. "Special K?… Isn't that a cereal?… And why is everyone bothering me for money?! I'm just a teacher!"

"…" Both Sayuri and Mary stared at each other, then Vash. "Good point…"

The two girls then thought for a moment. Sayuri sighed. "Well then, I guess that means I'll have to pawn off me and Kaite's bondage equipment…"

Kaite whimpered. "Nnnooo!!! Not the bondage set!!!"

Kaite and Sayuri got stares. Sayuri chuckled. "Um… Pretend you didn't hear that…" 

Vash blinked. "Okay, um… There is erm… No need for that… I'll just use my stash!"

Knives raised an eyebrow. "… Stash?…"

Vash smiled. "Yep! My money stash! When I helped people, they sometimes gave me a reward of some kind… I usually could persuade them to decline their offer, but sometimes they insisted. So I decided to save up money to help someone, so I am going to buy both you girls those boots!"

Both girls growled. Kaite timidly waved his hand. "Um… Can I go home now, please?…"

Both Mary and Sayuri glared at Kaite with giant demon heads. "HELL NO!!"

"Eep! Okay…"

~~~

So, they went to the mall. They went to the mall one day. One time, I went to the mall. I go to the mall a lot… I always buy manga. I got the "Trigun, Volume 1" manga a month ago… I also-- oops! Sorry…

Anyway, they went to the mall. Mary and Sayuri continued to growl at each other, while Vash stood between them so they don't kill each other. Kaite trailed worriedly behind. They decided they would take an elevator to the Shoe Department. The only problem was… The elevator was located on the other side of the Perfume section. 

Kaite and Vash's eyes widened. "The Perfume section?!" They shivered. 

Kaite gulped. "Can I stay here?…"

Sayuri growled at Kaite. He cried. "No, we cannot! I will get those boots!"

"Since when did you become a fashion freak? What happened to the tomboy that I fell in love with?…"

"She grew up… Besides, I'm not getting them for looks… I'm getting them so I can kick Mary's ass…"

Kaite raised an eyebrow, then sighed. "Alright, Vash… Into the pits of Hell we go…"

Vash whimpered. "Hold me…"

The girls rolled their eyes. Mary spoke up. "Please… It's just perfume…"

~~~

"In the end…" Vash began. "I was the only man left… Kaite had fallen to the horror of the evil perfume…. Damn you, perfume!!! Damn you!!!"

After walking through the perfume section, they were bombarded by perfume sellers spraying them with samples. It didn't even phases Mary, Sayuri only flinched, and Vash had a bit of trouble breathing. But Kaite, sadly… didn't make it… 

"Gyah!" Mary screamed. "You boys are such wimps!"

"Kaite…" Sayuri began. "Please get up… You're embarrassing me…" She sweat dropped at her boyfriends lying form. 

He slowly opened his eyes. "Sayuri?…" he began. "Is that you?… I can barely see your beautiful face… Please… Just go on without me…"

Sayuri rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's leave him there…" They then left Kaite for dead and got onto the elevator. 

~~~

So they got on the elevator. They stared at the buttons. There were over 100 buttons on it. "So, um…" Vash began. "What floor do we want?…"

Sayuri looked at the buttons. "Um… Let's see… The Shoe department was on… floor 5, I think…" She pushed the 'F5' button. The elevator went up.

Mary frowned. "No, I'm pretty sure it was the 4th floor…" She then pushed the 'F4' button. The elevator went down.

"No, 5..." Push. Up.

"No, 4..." Push. Down.

"5!" Push. Up.

"4!" Push. Down.

Vash sweat dropped. "Um, girls?…"

"5!" Push. Up.

"4!" Push. Down.

Vash sweat dropped. "Um, girls?…"

"5!" Push. Up.

"4!" Push. Down.

Vash sweat dropped. "Um, girls?…"

Suddenly, the elevator stopped completely. A mechanical voice was heard. "Device. Has. Over. Heated. Emergency. Stop. Activated."

Vash's eyes widened. "Oh… My… God… We're stuck on the elevator!!! We're all gonna die!!! And worst of all, I'm stuck here with two girls that hate each other!!!"

Mary glared at Sayuri. "This is all your fault!!"

Sayuri returned the glare. "My fault?! You started the button war!!"

"Grrr… Whatever… Just don't talk to me until the elevator is fixed…"

"No! I'll scream into your ears until they bleed!!"

"Don't you dare!"

"And what will you do to stop me, huh?!"

"… This…" Mary then grabbed Sayuri and kissed her on the lips. Sayuri struggled to get out, but Mary had her in a tight grip that she didn't prepare herself for. Mary then stopped the kiss. Sayuri was speechless. Mary smiled. "That sure shut you up, didn't it?…"

Vash just sat there and sucked his thumb, hoping the madness would eventually stop. He thought about lots of things, including how an entire city's memories could be erased, and what exactly _is_ the Hokey Pokey all about? 

Sayuri then punched Mary in the face.

Mary held her nose. "It… It's bleeding!… How dare you! You stained my perfect face with blood! You will pay, bitch!" Mary then pounced on Sayuri. They began to fight in a dust cloud. Vash continued to suck his thumb and ramble on. Finally, after a few minutes, the dust cloud dissipated. The girls stood up. They're clothes were mussed up, and they had bruises all over their bodies. They looked at each other. Mary laughed. "We look like we were battered by abusive husbands, don't we?…" 

Sayuri giggled. "Yeah… Did I just giggle?…"

"Looks like Kaite was right… You are getting girly…"

"Hey, shut up!"

Mary smiled. "Hey… You aren't _so_ bad… But you should start acting a bit more girly. You're a Junior in high school!"

"Well, you wouldn't be so bad if you weren't so creepy!"

"What do you mean, creepy?…"

"You always lick things, and you just kissed me, and--"

"Well, I like peoples reactions when I lick certain things, and… um… I don't know about that kiss…"

"Well that's good…" Sayuri laughed. "I _do_ have a boyfriend, y'know…"

"Yeah… I know…" Mary said, turning around. She looked to the floor. "I… know…" 

~~~

An hour passed, and Vash began to go insane. "How many days have we been in here?…"

Mary sighed. "We've only been in here for one hour…"

"One day?! It hasn't been fixed yet?! Help!!! Please!!!"

Sayuri bonked Vash on the head. "Please stop that… I have a headache…"

Vash stood up. "I will get us out of here!"

"How?…" Sayuri asked.

Vash sat back down. "The details are top secret!"

"Riiight… You don't know how to get out, do you?…"

Vash smiled and stood back up. "Don't know?! That is silly! The Great Teacher Ericks knows all and---" he then sat back down and burst out crying. "I don't know!! I don't know!!! Just leave me alone, Maman!!"

"… Why are you crying in French?…" Sayuri asked. 

"… bEcAuSe YoU lOoK fUnNy!!!!111!!"

"O_O Oh my god, he's possessed!"

"… Father?…" Mary said, edging away. "You're scaring me…"

Vash stared at the two girls. "aAwWwW… aRe YoU sCaReD?! HEeHeEhEe!!!"

"… Ew…"

"hI, i'M vAsH!! I cLeAn ThE pLaCe WhIlE tHe MiStReSs Is aWaY!!!"

"… Mistress?…" Sayuri began. "Do I really want to know?…"

"No, you do not…" Mary explained. "It involves chocolate, whipped cream, whips, leather, and my parents…"

"I think I've already heard enough…"

"bElOvEd DaUgThEr, WoUld YoU sHaVe My MoNkEy?!"

"No!" Mary screamed. "But… Only one person called me 'Beloved Daughter', and--"

"Yes… It is I…"

"Papa?…"

Sayuri raised an eyebrow. "Wha?… You mean--"

"Yes…" Possessed Vash (PV) said. "I am the ghost of Legato Bluesummers, talking through this idiot…"

"How is that possible?!"

"Well you see, this elevator is a gateway between worlds… The only catch, however, is that ghosts can only come to this world through this gate by possessing the last person they spoke to in person while alive… Oh, and sorry about that weird dialogue, I drank some Kool-Aid… Oh, yeah!!" A spirit representative from Spirit Kool-Aid then walked into Legato's spirit house and gave him 500 spirit $$.

Mary raised an eyebrow. "But… Why are you here?…"

Legato explained. "I came to tell you that… I am sorry for what I became… Tell Gary I said that… And although Vash is an idiot, he is a good man… I know that he will raise you well… But now I depart…"

Mary whimpered. "No! Papa…"

"I am sorry… But my connection to this world runs on 56k… *ding-dong* That, and my Spirit Pizza is here… Goodbye, beloved daughter! I love both you and Gary!" Then suddenly, Vash's no longer possessed body fell asleep. 

"Papa…" Mary whispered, a lone tear running down her face. Sayuri put a hand on Mary's shoulder. Mary looked to Sayuri. "Oh, Sayuri…"

Sayuri nodded. "It's okay…" The two girls hugged. 

Suddenly, the elevator went down to the first floor. The door opened and Kaite hopped in. He was followed by two employees. "Hey! I got these guys to fix the ele--" He and the employees stared at the hugging girls and the unconscious Vash. "Um… Did I miss something?…"

~~~

Finally, the group walked out of the mall, carrying all sorts of goodies. Kaite smiled. "Geez, we sure lucked out thanks to Augusta Mall!" 

Vash smiled back. "Yep! It sure was nice of the Augusta Mall to give us all this free 'Augusta Mall' stuff for saying 'Augusta Mall' so much!"

Mary and Sayuri smiled back. "Augusta Mall is awesome!"

And with that, they all hopped into the van and drove off into the sunset. The girls, now friends, completely forgot about the boots. Which is kind of stupid, considering the whole reason they got into this mess was because they wanted those damn boots so bad, and then all this other creepy crap with Legato happened, and Kaite almost died due to the evil perfume and then Vash went completely insane! And what the hell is up with Knives and Trix?! I mean, sure they're good and all, but-- O_O Er, sorry… 

****

To Be Continued…

~~~

And another chapter of another story is complete. Those of my older readers that are used to me updating almost everyday, sorry to disappoint, but I'm now juggling between two stories. So with that, I bid you adieu for now!


	2. Knives Adventure

*Knives walks up.* 

Knives: Blah… The spider known as Kouji Tamino does not own Trigun… He also does not own Trix, thank god… Can I go now?…

From the author: AHHHH!!! Please don't hurt me! Guys, sorry it took so long to write again… I wanted to finish another story before I was grounded… But I wasn't grounded, so now I am dedicated to this story… To the people that stuck around and waited for me, thanks! You guys are awesome. Thanks for not giving up on me… For the people who gave up on me, thus won't be reading this… Nyah nyah, ya missed it! So, on with the fic!

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash! 

__

Chapter 2:** Knives Adventure**

~~~

And so, after months of inactivity, the Planet of Gunsmoke awoke. The residents then proceeded to scold the author. He hung his head low. He then cheered up and continued on with the story. (The lazy bastard… Hey, wait…)

Anyway, in the home of the Stryfe's/Stampede's and the Wolfwood's, the only people in the house were Meryl, and Knives. Everyone was out and about. Meryl nervously walked over to the sleeping form of Knives, who was knocked out on the couch with a half eaten bowl of Trix in his lap. She stepped over the empty boxes of the fruit flavored cereal, and slowly tapped Knives on the shoulder. He jumped up suddenly, covering them both in milk and cereal. 

"Bwa!!! Don't shoot me, Rem!!! I'm sorry!!!" Knives, still groggy, stared at Meryl. Thinking that it was Rem with a hair cut, he drew his gun on her. The woman screamed. When he realized that it was actually Meryl and thought of what Vash would do to him if he shot her, he put his guns away. He glared at her. "What do you want, Spider Woman?! If you hadn't awaken me from such a horrible nightmare, there is no telling what I would have done!"

Meryl raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. "What would you have done?…"

"Well, maybe I would have shot you in the face, then tie you up to the Jeep outside and drag you across the desert. Then, if you were still alive, I would tie you up and set you on the path of an incoming Sandsteamer… Ah, yes… Then, if there was anything left, I would take the carcass and roast it over an open fire, then feed it to a penguin named Clive…"

Meryl's eyes widened, and she inched away from Knives. "Don't you dare!… And what's a penguin?"

"… Never you mind, Spider Woman… Never you mind…" Knives muttered, crossing his arms and settling back down in his couch. 

Meryl stared at the highly disturbed man/plant in great worry. Knives glared. "So? What the hell do you want?"

Meryl cleared her throat. "Ahem… Anyway, I was wondering if you could do a few… errands for me…"

Knives raised an eyebrow. "What kind of… errands?"

"… Um, well… First, the kids need to be picked up… Gary and Mary went to the mall with Sayuri and Kaite…"

"… Urgh…" Knives groaned, annoyed.

Meryl ignored him. "And then, I need you to pick up some groceries…"

"Why should I do these errands for you?"

"Because, everyone has been pulling their weight around here except you this Summer…"

"Not that Spider-Butterfly hybrid offspring of you and my brother…"

"He's a baby! Besides… We ran out of Trix, and if I go to shopping myself, I _just_ might forget to buy them…"

"… Bitch…"

~~~

And so, driving off in a black Jeep, Knives drove off to the mall. He had just arrived in town, and cursed as he watched the humans. "Darn spider woman… I'll kill, er-- hurt her and the rest of the spiders someday… Just you wait…" He unknowingly sped up in his rage, and ended up crashing into the town's Plant. "DAMNIT!!! NOT AGAIN!!!" 

~~~

Knives huffed through the mall. He glared at the kids smiling faces as he finally found them. "Alright, get your spider up!" 

Kaite smirked. "What's wrong, Knives? Run out of Trix?"

Knives twitched. "That is none of you business, you little shit!" Knives drew his gun, and people began to scream. Knives screamed at them all. "Shut up, spiders!! Or I'll kill you all!!" Suddenly, security all showed up and pointed their guns at Knives. He glared at them all. "… I'll kill all you, too!!"

~~~

Knives growled from his prison cell. He took off his shoe and pulled out a tiny portable box of Trix. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a plastic spoon. Then, he took of his other shoe and pulled out a school sized carton of milk. He poured the milk in the box and watched the milk seep through the box. "Shit…"

Suddenly, the jail cell's door opened. A guard came in. "Well, looks like your bail has been paid…"

Knives raised an eyebrow. "By whom?"

Milly popped her head in. "By me!"

"But… How?"

Wolfwood walked in, glaring. "The bail was surprisingly low… But poor Milly had to spend all of her pudding savings…"

"No pudding for Milly…"

"… You did that for me?…"

Milly nodded happily. Knives's expression softened. _'Milly… You've always been so kind to me… I wish I could kiss-- No wait, she is married… Besides, she's… human…'_

Wolfwood interrupted Knives's train of thought. "I hope you're happy… Anyway, I dropped the kids off… Meryl's pissed as hell. She said that if you didn't get your ass to the grocery store, she would kick your ass so hard that you would be licking her shoe." 

"Hey!"

Wolfwood chuckled. "Just quoting what she said…" 

Knives huffed, then sat up and left. But not before nodded to Milly. "Thank you, Milly…"

Milly smiled again. "You're welcome!" 

Knives then gathered up his stuff and exited the building.

~~~

Outside, Knives hopped in his black Jeep, then drove off to the grocery store. He growled. "Damn Kaite… Damn spider children… Burn them all…" He drove up to the grocery store, then parked. He walked into the store, then looked at the list that Meryl gave him. "Hey look! Catch You Catch You Catch Me Catch Me Wait up! 

Look this way and say you like me. 

Yeah! Nice to Meet You Good to See You Surely! 

My thoughts will fly, fly, fly into your heart! 

They - will - not - get - lost!" As Knives got strange looks from people passing by, he stared at the list. "… What the hell is this?!" He looked on the back. "Oh wait, here's the list… Milk, water, corn, chicken, beef, Trix -- yum -- donuts, donuts, 50 donuts 'AHHHHH, 500 bajillion donuts yes!' …" Knives stared at the list blankly. He then went back to reading the list. "…'Oh, and salmon sandwiches…'… Dumb ass Vash… Messing with the list…" Knives shook his head. "Okay, let's see… oh, and some hot dogs… Gee, I wonder who wrote that…" he muttered sarcastically. He continued on his way. 

~~~

Knives went through the rest of the day without much mishap, until he got to the Trix… He looked around the entire cereal section, but the Trix were nowhere to be found. He controlled his rage, and as kindly as he could, asked a nearby worker where the Trix were… "Where the hell are the goddamn Trix?!"

The young man began stuttering. "Um… I'm sorry, sir… But a rabbit just grabbed all the boxes we had…"

"WHAT?! WHERE IS HE?!"

"It was just a few minutes ago… With all those Trix, he should still be at the cash register…" 

Knives then ran off, shopping cart included, to get the rabbit that took his Trix…

~~~

The Trix Rabbit aka Silly Rabbit, pulled out a gun and pointed it at the person at the cash register. The rabbit, now insane, shakily held the gun at the woman and shouting out his demands. "Put the Trix in the bag, lady…"

"Okay! Okay! Please don't hurt me!!"

"That's it… Put those delicious raspberry reds, lemony lemons, and grapity grapes in the brown paper bags…"

"Hey!" shouted Knives, running over to the register. "You can't just take all the Trix!!"

The rabbit turned around to face Knives, eyes twitching. "Says who?…"

"Says I!" Knives yelled drawing his gun. 

~~~

Meanwhile, at the house, Vash came home, carrying little baby Vish. Vish gurgled. "Goo…"

Milly, who had earlier gotten home with Wolfwood, squealed. "Eeeeee, he's so cute!! He's like a little mini Vash except… He's not!!"

Vash blinked. "Hey, where's Knives? Usually when I get home he'd be sitting on the couch, eating his Trix… Or ranting about killing all humans… Or sometimes both! He'd choke a lot, though…"

Meryl sighed. She was sitting on the other couch. "I sent him out on some errands… Which I now think was the worst mistake ever… He's already been arrested once, but Milly bailed him out…"

Vash's eyes widened as he dropped little Vish. Thankfully, a quick save by Wolfwood kept the baby alive for another day. "Where is he now?!"

Meryl gave him a death glare for almost dropping Vish, but she sighed. "He's either at the grocery store… Or back in jail…"

Vash saluted. "I shall storm the castle and capture the duke, sir!" Vash then ran out the door. Everyone sweat dropped. Suddenly, Vash walked back in. "Forgot my gun… Could get ugly…" He then ran back out.

Meryl sighed again. "That's Vash for you…" She then came to a sudden realization and frowned. She screamed after him. "What the hell do you mean 'sir'?!"

~~~

"So, you wanna fight for the Trix, huh?…"

"Yeah…" Knives looked around. Hey, where are those spider children from the commercials?… By now they would have stopped you…"

The rabbit growled. "I done shot them kids!! Little shits wouldn't let a poor rabbit enjoy his own damn cereal!!! I'm on the friggin' box, man… I'M ON THE FRIGGIN' BOX!!"

"… I feel your pain…"

The Trix Rabbit slowly lowered his gun. "…R--really?…"

Knives shot the rabbit right in the head. "No, not really… Mwahahahaha!!!"

~~~

Meanwhile, Vash was in the appliances section…

"Excuse me?…" Vash said, walking up to a worker. 

"Yeeeeees?…" the man began.

"Um…" Vash said nervously. "Have you seen Knives?…"

"Of course! What type of knives are you looking for? We have a fine selection of--"

"No, my brother Knives!"

"Brother Knives? Quite a fine choice… They are our finest--"

"No, I mean his name is Knives!"

"Hisnamus Knives? I don't recommend those… Easy to wash but they break too easily--"

Vash calmly drew his gun and pointed it at the worker. "Look… I don't like to be violent, but I'm running out of time… Could you please help me find my brother?…"

"Sir! There is no need to be violent! If you were looking for your brother, why didn't you just say so?…"

"…" Vash stared blankly at the worker.

~~~

"Dayum!!" Bobby yelled, who had watched the whole thing. "He dun busted a cap in the Trix Rabbit!"

The manager of the store walked up to Knives. "Sir, while you may have killed a beloved mascot of hundreds of years, we want to thank you for saving the store. You may have everything you have shopped for so far for free! Including these boxes of Trix…"

"Spider, you will be one of the last to die when I wipe out all the spiders in a mad frenzy of Genocide…"

"… Just get the hell out…"

Suddenly, Vash burst into the store. He quickly drew his gun. "OHMYGODKNIVESDON'TKILLANYONEOR I'LLSHOOT YOUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Knives stared at Vash. "… Vash… No… Just no…"

"Knives, you have no reason to hurt these innocent people!"

"Vash, look… You do this every time I go out…"

"Knives, let's just put his behind us and go home…"

"But I want to go home… So let's go…"

"Damnit Knives, calm down!!"

"… Nevermind… I'll just let you get this out of your system…"

"Knives, a life is a wonderful thing… You shouldn't just--"

~~~

And so, they finally arrived at home. Knives yawned, and hopped out of his black Jeep. Vash hopped out of the van. They both walked inside, carrying the groceries. Meryl rushed up to both of them. "So?! What happened?!" Knives plopped the money in her hand. "What's this?…"

"The shopping money…" Knives answered. "I got the groceries for free…"

"…You didn't kill anyone, did you?…"

"Sigh… No, I didn't kill anyone… No wait, that's a lie… I killed a crazy rabbit…"

"Um… Alright…" Meryl blinked rapidly.

Knives began to walk to his room, hands in his pockets, then stopped and looked back slightly. "Oh, and by the way…"

"Hmm?"

"If you could, give that money to Milly…" He smirked. "Tell her she can buy some pudding with it…" He then continued on to his room and closed the door.

Meryl stared at the door. Vash put a hand on her shoulder and chuckled. "He sure has changed, hasn't he?…"

Meryl smiled. "Yes… He has…"

Suddenly, Kaite knocked on the open door. "Um, knock knock… Hate to ruin a warm moment, but… I need a place to stay…"

Vash looked over to Kaite. "But… What about your parents?…"

Kaite stared hard at Vash, then burst out laughing. "My stepparents?! Hell no!! They are complete dead beats! I only see them every couple of months, and the rest of the year they are off doing god knows what… I'm only alive because Sayuri knows how to cook! In fact, that's how we met… 3 years ago, I ran away and was starving because my parents were gone and she brought me over to her place and cooked me up a decent meal…"

Vash scratched his head. "Gee, that sounds bad… What do you think Meryl?…" He gave her a bit of a pouty face.

"… Um… Alright… But we'll have to knock down yet another wall and build a new room… And Kaite, you have to help…"

The boy nodded. "That's alright with me…"

Vash giggled slightly, then yelled out. "Yahoo!! We have a new roommate! Ha ha ha!!"

Wolfwood screamed from his and Milly's room. "For god sakes! People are trying to freakin' sleep here! Shut up!"

**The End… For now…**

~~~

And I'm back! ^_^ Hello again!


	3. Special Task Force FoodRanger!

From the author: Yay! Another chapter! Mwahaha…

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

Chapter 3: Special Task Force FoodRanger!

And so, a few days passed, and Kaite settled into his new home. Curious, he wondered why Mary kept giving him strange looks and hissing at him… Anyway, that's not important! What is important is that the City of New Augusta was currently in the middle of a crime wave. Vash frowned as he read the newspaper. "This is distressing… The crime rate hasn't been this bad in 50 years…" He shook his head, then stood up. "I have to do something about this!" 

Suddenly, Mary walked in. "Dad… I may have something useful…"

Vash raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"… Follow me…" Mary said walking down the hall. 

Vash shrugged and followed her. They walked a little further down the hall and Mary flipped up a panel on the wall. Vash's eyes widened as she pressed a red button under the panel. The walls slowly slid apart to reveal a secret laboratory of some sort. It was filled with all sorts of technology the likes of which few people have ever seen. "…W--w--what is this?!"

Mary smiled slightly. "Did I forget to mention that I was also an inventor?"

Vash shook his head and looked around. He saw all sorts of gadgets and doohickies, but then he saw a table where Kaite, Sayuri, Wolfwood, and Milly were sitting. Milly smiled and waved. "Hi, Mr. Vash! Are you here for the surprise, too?"

"Um…" Vash began. "What is going on here?"

"I'm glad you asked. A few years ago I began an experiment. But after the 'Revenge Against Vash' plan went into full motion, I temporarily gave up on it. The recent crime wave, however, has given me enough motivation to continue it… So I now reveal to you--" Mary pulled back a curtain to reveal a table with 5 watch-like devices. "--the Food Processors!"

Wolfwood stared at the devices. "What in the nine hells are those?"

Mary glared at him, but answered his question. "They are devices that will transform you all into super heroes…"

Wolfwood stood up. "Ridiculous. What would we need those for? We're already good on our own…"

Mary frowned. "These will increase your speed, strength, and modify your weapons…"

The priest crossed his arms. "Well I'll have nothing of it… I think it's a stupid idea… Why can't Gary do it?"

"Because…" Mary looked down. "I don't trust him with it…"

Milly pouted with big, shimmering eyes. "Pwease, Nicky?…"

Wolfwood closed his eyes in defeat. "…Fine…"

Mary pulled the curtain back to it's previous position. "They aren't complete yet, but I'll summon you all when they are… By the way Nicholas, what is your favorite food?…"

"Why does that matter?"

"It will be important later…"

"Whatever…" he frowned. "Sorry, bad week…" he smiled. "Anyway, I don't really have a favorite, but lately I've been fond of this new treat called an Ice Cream Sandwich…"

"…I'll have to do some research, but I can pull it off…"

"Eh?"

"Nothing…"

~~~

A few days passed, and the group was once again summoned to the lab. Mary handed them each a 'Food Processor'. She gave Vash one with a red background in the face of the watch. "Dad, you're red, the leader…"

Vash smiled. "Awesome!"

She handed a pink one to Sayuri. "Sayuri, you're yellow." 

Sayuri nodded. "Thank you…"

She tossed Wolfwood a black one. "Nicholas, you'll be black…"

"Alright…"

"Kaite, you are blue…"

"I see…"

"…And Milly, you'll be pink…"

"Yay!"

"So, now… You are all part of the Special Task Force, created to deal with the recent crime wave. Using a monitor, we will find out where major crimes are taking place and deal with them promptly… I will stay here and give out instructions when needed. Good luck… Right now the monitor isn't working, so you'll have to go check out the city."

Vash stepped forward after putting on his Food Processor. "I, leader of the Special Task Force, will proudly take on this responsibility that you have bestowed upon me…"

Mary sweat dropped. "That's nice, dad…"

Vash smiled cheesily. "Alright, Special Task Force! Let's go!"

~~~

In which the Task Force has random adventures.

~~~

A female bank teller screamed as a man with jeans, a red shirt, a blue vest and black boots pulled out a gun. Several other people dressed similarly also pulled out guns. The man, presumably the leader, shouted out to the innocent people. "Listen up! If you're all quiet and pay attention to my commands, y'all just might live! Put all the money in this bank in this here bag!" He pulled out a very large brown bag and handed it to the bank teller, who shakily took it and filled it with the safe's money. 

Suddenly, Vash and the others burst into the bank. "Oh boy!" Vash screamed a bank robbery!" Without looking back, he barked his command. "Special Task Force! Food Process!" The others looked at him strangely, including everyone else in the bank, but they shrugged and pressed the single button on the watch like devices and somehow knew what they were supposed to say. 

Vash was wearing red spandex with a matching helmet with a donut shaped on the face. Kaite was wearing the same outfit, but blue and with a pretzel shape on his helmet. Sayuri was wearing yellow with a pickle on her helmet. Wolfwood was wearing black with an ice cream sandwich, and Milly was wearing pink with a cup of pudding. 

The bank robbers laughed out loud. "What y'all dressed up for, huh?!"

The group looked in the mirror and gasped.

"Gyah!!" Kaite screamed. "We look like total idiots!!"

"Damnit, Mary!" Sayuri began. "You did this to embarrass us, didn't you?!"

~~~

Mary, who had gotten the voice system working, spoke to them. "Hey, it was part of a strange TV show Gary used to watch…"

~~~

The crooks continued laughing. Milly growled. "How… How dare you make fun of us!! I think the outfits are cute!" Milly brought out her modified stun gun and attempted to blast the leader. She ended up splatting him in the face with pudding. "Oops…"

"What the?!--" Wolfwood screamed. "Mary, are you trying to get us killed?! Food for weapons?!"

The gang leader wiped as much pudding off his face as he could. "… You bitch! You're dead!!" The leader aimed his gun right at her.

"Milly, look out!!" Sayuri screamed. She brought out her machine gun, a gift from Kaite, and shot a barrage of pickles at the leader. The pickle juice burned his eyes. 

"GYAAAAH!!! IT BURNS WITH A FIERY RAGE!!! LET'S GET OUT OF HER BEFORE THEY SHOOT SOMETHING ELSE AT US!!!" The leader ran out, his gang following. 

Wolfwood growled. "Oh no you don't, you bastard! You tried to shoot Milly!!" He brought out his Cross Punisher, and thwacked the bad guys in the back of the head with frozen Ice Cream Sandwiches. They all fell to the ground, and Vash finished them off by pulling the trigger on his gun. Dough flew out of the gun, and wrapped around the villains. The donut cooked it self, and the badguys were wrapped up in giant donuts. 

Kaite blinked. "Well what do you know… These food weapons, if used right, really do work! What brought this on, Mary?"

~~~

At 'FoodRanger HQ', Mary gave them her answer. "I… I wanted to stop evil without killing… I wanted to stop the death and pain… So then I thought, why not food?… So I came up with this plan…"

~~~

Wolfwood smiled, then laughed. "And the whole 'Special Task Force' thing?"

~~~

Mary smiled. "It was based of off a very old show… Super Sentai… It's been around for more than 100 years, since people lived on Earth and it was somehow carried over to this planet. It was recently cancelled a few years ago…"

~~~

Sayuri blinked. "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't parade around in these things in front of thousands of people for any amount of money…"

~~~

And so, a week passed…

"OKAY, MAN!!! I'VE LIKE, GOT A FREAKING BOMB ATTACHED TO MY SKULL!!! IF YOU DON'T STOP USING PLANTS FOR ENERGY, I'M GONNA LIKE, BLOW THIS WHOLE BUILDING UP!!!" a shaggy looking hippy screamed. He was wearing shorts, a tie-dye shirt, and truth be told, he had a bomb attached to his head. People began to scream and run around and do cartwheels. Out of nowhere, trumpets blasted and conga drums were beat. The people began to jump up and down and dance. A funky sounding jazz guitar solo played, then it stopped and the trumpets returned along with a snare drum. The men tossed the women in the air and caught them. Finally, to top it all off, the ground opened up and Tom Jones slowly rose out of the ground on a platform. Abruptly, the music stopped. Tom Jones brought the microphone to his mouth and was about to sing… 

"Stop this senseless blowing up of buildings and randomly bursting out in song, now!" a valiant voice yelled out. The camera did a pan to reveal the FoodRangers. FoodRanger Donut Red flashed a peace sign. "For the Special Task Force is here!"

"DON'T YOU SEE THAT I LIKE, HAVE A BOMB ATTACHED TO THE PLACE THAT PROTECTS MY THINKING DEVICE?! DON'T YOU SEE THAT I WILL BLOW UP THIS BUILDING?!"

Milly smiled. "Well don't you see that your bomb is jammed by pudding?"

"WHAT?!…" the bomber hippie touched his head, then brought it to his face and saw that it was covered in pudding. "WHAT?! LIKE, NOOOOOOO DUUUUDE!!!!"

Kaite walked over to the devastated hippie and slapped some 'Pretzel Cuffs' on him. "Sorry, 'dude'… Your ass is busted!"

~~~

Meanwhile, Knives slumped in his couch, annoyed. "Urgh… Those guys are annoying me with their stupid little 'Task Force'… What they need is a good kick in the ass… If only I could get those powers and teach them a lesson…" He thought for a moment. "Hey, wait… Maybe there is an extra 'Food Processor' laying around…" He stood up, and tiptoed over to where the lab was. He was about the flip the panel in the wall, when Mary snuck up behind him. 

"Who told you about that panel?…" she asked.

"Vash, who else…" Knives replied.

Mary snorted in disgust. "Figures… So what did you want?"

"I want a Food Processor thingy!!"

"You're in luck… I was working on one for you… Come on…"

~~~

"So, this is it…" Mary picked it up and showed it too him. "I have to warn you, it's not--"

Knives quickly snatched it up. "Thanks, bye!" He then ran out of earshot.

"--finished…" she shrugged. "Oh well, his loss…" Mary then started tinkering with a few things. 

~~~

In which the Task Force gets their asses handed to them by a bad-ass 'Anti-Ranger'

~~~

Vash smiled as he and the others walked home through the desert. "Well, that's it! Thanks to us, the Crime Wave has drastically gone down! Now all that's left is the normal number of crooks…"

Wolfwood smirked. "Y'know, I have to admit, that was actually pretty fun…"

Milly smiled and hugged Wolfwood. "See, Nicky! I knew you would have fun!"

Wolfwood gave her a playful frown. "Now dear, what did I say about calling me that?…"

"I know, I know… Save it for the bedroom…"

Wolfwood violently coughed. "Um, **not that one**…"

"Oops! Sorry…"

Kaite frowned. "I think I've learned enough about other peoples sex lives, thank you…"

Everyone suddenly burst out laughing. The fun was abruptly interrupted, however, by an explosion that sent everyone flying. Vash coughed as green smoke filled the area. "Is everyone all right?!"

Suddenly, a form appeared at the top of a nearby mountain. He silently stared at them through his bowl shaped visor. He was wearing green spandex and the trademark Task Force helmet, but had an aura of… evil. He slid down the mountain, but at the last moment, tripped and land face first on the ground. The group sweat dropped. The mysterious figure quickly stood back up. He slowly pointed at the group. Then, he pointed down with his thumb. 

The group smirked at him, then transformed. 

Vash: "Donut Red! Go!"

Kaite: "Pretzel Blue! Go!"

Sayuri: "Pickle Yellow! Go!"

Wolfwood: "Ice Cream Sandwich Black! Go!"

Milly: "Pudding Pink! Go!"

And so, they became the…

"Special Task Force FoodRangers! Go!"

The green figure crossed his arms, then disappeared. The FoodRangers gasped dramatically. "Where'd he go?!…" Pretzel Blue inquired, looking around. Suddenly, they all were hit, sparks flying everywhere. They fell to the ground in slow motion and after an hour, hit the ground. They then raised their pelvises in the air dramatically as their fingers twitched. After getting up, they looked at the green Task Force Ranger, who was sitting in a chair, silently sipping wine. He waved at them. 

"Task Force!!" Donut Red commanded. "Super Buffet Blast Cannon!!" They then combined their weapons into a giant cannon. "Buffet Blast, go!" The rainbow blast was sent at the green ranger at light speed. An explosion followed, and the team anxiously awaited to see the results. The smoke cleared, and the ranger was gone. Donut Red sighed. "He's gone… I wonder who he was, anyway?…" 

Pickle Yellow looked up and her eyes widened. "He's still here!" The group could only look on in horror as the evil ranger flew towards them at top speed. When he made contact with his target, there was a huge explosion. When the dust cleared, the good guys uniforms were tattered. Parts of their helmets were smashed, and Donut Red's helmet was so badly damaged that the visor was shattered, revealing Vash's eyes underneath. 

Green simply stood there, arms crossed. Ice Cream Sandwich Black panted heavily. "How can he… be so strong?…"

Donut Red looked to him. "I don't know… All I know is that I am not going to give up! Who's with me?!" The others were silent. "… You guys suck!"

Narrator: _Are the FoodRangers doomed? Will they ever figure out the identity of Green? Will my butt ever stop itching? Find out on the next _"Special Task FoodRanger"_-- er, I mean… The next _"The Random Adventures of Vash!" _Now get out of my face!_

**__**

To Be Continued…

~~~

… Interesting… Even I don't know why I wrote this chapter… o_o 


	4. Gunman 009

Authors Notes: And another chapter! Uhu-hu-hu-hu…

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

__

Chapter 4: Gunman 009

Narrator: _When we last left our heroes, they were given-- aw screw it… This isn't a damn TV show… If you weren't here for the last chapter, go back and read it, lazy-asses… Damn…_

Kouji: Ahem… Sorry for that, folks… The narrator has now been fired… And now, on with the story…

~~~

A few hours later, Vash and the others were in the living room, licking their wounds…

"Ow… Damn that green ranger…" Wolfwood said, getting his arm bandaged up by Milly. 

"I just don't get it…" Kaite began, wiping his lip as a trickle of blood rolled down. "How did he get a Food Processor and how did he get so strong?…" He looked to Vash. "And why the hell are you licking an ice cream cone?"

Vash stopped eating and looked at Kaite smugly and pointed at the bandaged up wound on his forehead. "Meryl gave me an ice cream for my boo-boo…"

Kaite sighed. "Idiot…" Vash then stuck his tongue out. Kaite proceeded to grab it. "Shhhh! You hear that?…"

"Eh?…" Sayuri blinked, then listened. 

Soon, everyone was listening to mysterious whistling. Knives suddenly walked into the room. He smiled at everyone. "Hi, guys!" He then walked away, still whistling. Everyone stared. 

Wolfwood coughed. "Is it just me, or did he seem kinda… chipper?…"

"Um…" Kaite began. "I guess that's one way to put it…"

"I think it's adorable…" Milly began. 

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow. "Now that you think about it, Milly got out of this thing mostly uninjured, besides a few scratches…"

Milly smiled. "Maybe the mysterious ranger was a gentleman and didn't want to harm a lady…"

Sayuri glared, then pointed to her broken arm. "Then how do explain me?!"

Milly, still smiling, shrugged. 

Wolfwood rubbed his chin. "Hmmm… Then again, Knives has been acting odd around Milly lately…"

"Nah, couldn't be Knives…" Sayuri began. "He wouldn't be caught dead in one of these costumes--"

"That's where you would be wrong, my friends…" Mary stepped into the room. She was wearing a black cloak. 

Vash blinked. "Eeeh?… What do you mean, Mary?…"

"… You see… Knives has a Food Processor… But I didn't know that he would go and beat you all up… You see, the reason he is so strong is because his Food Processor is powered by Plutonium… And because the Processor is unfinished, it is unstable and set to blow within a few hours…"

Wolfwood's eyes widened. "Holy shit, that thing's radioactive?!" He went silent. "I took the lord's name in vain again, didn't I?… Goddamn it… " He blinked. "God, I did it again…" He went silent again, then spoke up. "I should just stop talking now…"

Mary stared at him. "Anyway, follow me… We have to stop Knives…"

"… But how?" Vash began. "Our powers are completely useless!"

"I have another experiment that I dropped when began the Task Force Project…" Mary simply said. 

"… Mary, you have way too much free time…"

Mary shrugged. "What do you expect, we're on vacation…"

"But… We have a problem…" Sayuri began. "My arm is broken…"

Mary smiled. "No problem" she replied. She brought out a strange gadget that looked like a pair of huge, bulky tongs. She clamped it on Sayuri's arm, and a blue light glowed. When the light subsided, Sayuri's arm completely healed.. Mary then kissed Sayuri's arm, then realized her mistake. "Um, sorry about that…"

Sayuri looked at Mary strange, then shook her head and smiled. "No, it's okay… And thank you!"

Mary smiled back. _"God, I love her smile…"_ she thought to herself.

~~~

And so, in the lab…

Mary stood in front of the group and smiled. She ripped off her cloak to reveal a blue 'Cyborg 009' style uniform with an extra long black scarf. The group stared at her. "What?… I think it's pretty stylish, myself…"

Wolfwood sighed. "Okay, what kind of messed up, weird ordeal are you putting us through this time?… It better not involve stuffed animals or something…"

"No, no… This is KNIVES we are talking about… Now put on your uniforms… You and your new teammates will be using real weapons…"

Kaite raised an eyebrow as he finished putting on his uniform. "New teammates?…"

Mary nodded. She clapped her hands and the lights went out. A spotlight suddenly came on. "May I introduce…" The spotlight shined on Vish, dressed in the uniform. "Vish Stryfe! Codeman: 001!" The spotlight then shined on Gary. "Gary Stu Bluesummers Stryfe! Codeman: 002!" 

Gary waved. "… Hotdog…"

"Meryl Stryfe! Codeman: 003!"

Meryl sighed. "Mary, how long do I have to wear this?…"

"Mackenzie Uno! Codeman 004!"

Mackenzie's eyes widened. "OH MY GOD, IT'S GREAT TEACHER ERICKS!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

"Sayuri Waterflower! Codemane 005!"

Sayuri blinked. "Um…"

"Milly Thompson! Codeman 006!"

Milly squealed. "Ooh, these are cute, too!"

"Nicholas Wolfwood! Codeman: 007!"

Wolfwood put a hand over his face. "I'm gonna regret this… I just know it…"

"Kaite… his last name isn't important! Codeman: 008!"

Kaite frowned. "Hey!"

"And last, but not least… The leader! Vash the Stampede Stryfe!! Codeman: 009!"

Everyone stared at Mary. She went back into her monotone mood. "…What?…"

"Why is Vish involved in this?!" Vash screamed. "And why is Mackenzie here?!"

Mackenzie squealed. "Oh, Great Teacher Ericks!! You make me so w--"

"That's enough right there!!"

Mary sighed. "Well, little Vish has Psychic abilities that are beyond your comprehension, and the only other person left was Bobby…"

~~~

Meanwhile…

"Now dat's just f*bleep!*ed up, yo! F*bleep!*in' racists!!! I oughta--"

~~~

"Well anyway, Kaite, you can transform by pressing your… um…"

Kaite frowned. "Well?… Spit it out!"

Mary blushed. "Your, um… 'thing'…"

Kaite raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "…What 'thing'?…" Mary pointed down. Kaite glared. "Now that's just sick…"

Mary shrugged. "Sorry… In the programming, I tried to make it your belly button, but it went a little low…" She turned to Meryl. "Mom, you can see really far… And Dad, Vish will tell you what you can do later… Gary, you have jets in your shoes…"

Gary smiled evilly. "Excellent…"

"… and the rest of you, your powers aren't important… Like all anime, only the main characters get to actually do anything… The rest you are like cheerleaders with muscles, or something… Anyway, get the hell out of my lab and go kick Knives ass… There's a jet in the back…"

~~~

And so, on the jet…

Mary talked to the others on a monitor in the plane. "Remember, you have to defeat Knives within an hour… Otherwise, his unstable, unfinished Food Processor will explode, and completely annihilate the city…"

Vash sighed. "Darnit, how could this get any worse?…"

Meryl frowned. "I really don't want to do this… Especially since Vish has to be involved…"

Kaite, who was piloting, looked back to the others. "Alright, everyone… We're near where Knives was last seen…" 

Suddenly, they were blasted by something. The jet began falling, and it crashed on the ground. Surprisingly, no one was hurt. Wolfwood smirked. "Well, looks like these clothes are enhanced somehow…" The group then turned to Knives, now in his FoodRanger outfit. He still had his gun out. He spun it on his finger and put it in it's holster. He jumped about 50 feet in the air and disappeared. 

A voice called to Vash. _"Quick! Crush one of your teeth!"_

Vash screamed out loud. "Why?! Oh never mind…" **_Crick._** "Ow!" Suddenly, everyone else seemed to slow down. He saw Knives rushing towards the ground in the air. He quickly jumped over to him and knocked him down. They both went out of accelerated mode. They began fighting in a fast pace, punching and kicking at each other violently. They smashed each other in the face, then they both grabbed a hold of each other. They went flying towards the ground and hit it, hard. When they slowly got up, we see that they have made the shaped of Tony Robbins. Vash shook his head. "Who was that, anyway…"

_"That would be me! Vish! Hi, daddy!"_

"Gyah!" Vash screamed out.

Meryl suddenly spasms. She yells out. "Look out! There is a missile coming in!" And she was right. A giant missile shaped like a banana was flying towards the group. 

Vash gasped, and yelled towards Kaite. "Kaite! Turn into a titanium wall and protect the others!" He sweat dropped as he watched Kaite fiddle with his uniform. 

"Um!--" Kaite yelled, trying to reach for his… ahem… "Just a minute!! Darn these tight pants…" Finally… "Got it!" **_SHINK!_** Kaite turned into a wall. Vash and Knives went into accelerated mode and escaped the missile. It hit Kaite-wall and exploded, but did no damage. 

The group, now regrouped and normal, looked towards where the missile came from to see who their attacker was…

"The Trix Rabbit?!" Knives screamed. 

"That's right, shit-head! The Rabbit from Hell is back!" the insane rabbit screamed. 

"But how?! I killed you!"

"Mascots never die!" the bunny yelled. He was currently wearing metal armor all over.

"Tell that to the Campbell's Soup kids…" Vash muttered.

The Trix Rabbit pointed his missile launcher at him. "Shut up!"

Kaite pointed his gun at the rabbit. "No, you shut up… Despite their size, we have the superior weapons…"

The rabbit snorted. "Who cares if you have superior weapons! I have a metal armor that cannot be penetrated by anything except a nuclear explosion!! I'll kill you all and destroy the planet with my weapons!"

Suddenly, Knives Food Processor went off. "Plutonium will have melt down in 5 minutes…" the computer voice said.

"Knives!!" Vash screamed. "Destroy that thing, now!"

Knives looked to Vash. "No, Vash…"

"…What?…"

"I have to pay for my wrong doing… I'm going to destroy the Trix rabbit…"

"Knives… don't…"

Knives took off his mask and smiled. Not a twisted scary, psychotic smile… A real smile. He walked over to Vash and hugged him. "I know that it may not seem like it, Vash… But I love you, brother…"

Tears ran down Vash's face. "Knives… I love you too…"

Knives let go and walked over to the teens. "Kids… Stay good…" He turned to Wolfwood. "And Wolfwood?… Take care…"

Wolfwood shook his head, holding back tears. "Idiot… Of course I will…"

Then, Knives walked up to Meryl. "Spider woman… Take care of Vash…"

Meryl wiped a few tears. "Yes, of course… Goodbye, Knives…"

Knives, then walked over to Milly. She was crying the hardest. "Mr. Knives! Why do you have to go?!"

Knives's expression softened. "Milly… I don't know what my true feelings for you are, but…" he kissed her on the hand, ticking off Wolfwood slightly. "…thank you for treating me with such kindness… For a spider, you are quite beautiful…" Knives then walked up to the Trix Rabbit and went into acceleration mode. He grabbed the Trix Rabbit in his armor, surprising the bunny. 

"NOOOOO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!" the crazy hare screamed hysterically. 

5...

Knives smirked at the rabbit and calmly answered. "I'm taking a trip to hell…"

4...

He suddenly screamed out. "… and I am taking you with me!!"

3...

"Goodbye, everyone…"

2...

Vash tried to run towards Knives, but everyone held him back. 

"KNIIIIIIVES!!!"

1...

Suddenly, Knives disappeared, going to a safer place. Everyone looked on in horror as they saw an explosion from afar… Knives was gone…

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! KNIVES!!!"

~~~

And so, 3 days passed…

Vash sat in his chair for all 3 of those days. Mushrooms were growing on Vash and Vish began to pick them off of him and eat them. He giggled. "Knives, Knives, and nothing but Knives… I want to stab you with knives… I want to shove a knife down your throat… Knives in my arm…" That was all Vash would say if you tried to get him to talk. 

"Vash is… beginning to scare me…" Kaite stared. He was now wearing a brown jacket, jeans, and gray boots. 

"Well, he did lose his brother…" Meryl sighed. 

"Yeah, I guess… But what about those Dragon Testicles, or whatever…"

Wolfwood shuddered from his spot on a chair. "Eeew… Not Dragon Testicles… Dragon Balls… They have absolutely nothing to do with _that_… And we could do that, I guess…"

Mary popped up and smiled slightly. "I could use my new Dragon Radar…" Mary, in mourning for Knives, wore a net shirt, a skirt, and long, boots, all black. She also wore black mascara. 

Sayuri walked in. "Another one?… Mary, do you ever go outside?…" Sayuri was now wearing a red shirt, shorts, and red shoes.

Mary smirked. "Actually, I was joking… I already have all the Dragon Balls in my lab…"

Vash brightened up and stood up, mushrooms flying everywhere. "Really?! So we could bring Knives back right now?!" 

"Yep… Now we just have to go down to my lab and--"

Suddenly, Milly walked up. "Guys, I can't find my pudding… Do you know where it is?"

Mary blinked. "Oh, it's by my inter-dimensional portal… But **don't touch anything**…" 

Milly smiled. "Okay!" Milly quickly ran down to the lab. 

Vash looked at himself. "Eww… I can't show up to Knive's revival looking like this… I'll go take a quick bath!" Vash then ran off. Vash then ran back in in nothing but a towel. Sayuri raised an eyebrow at all of Vash's scars. Vash smiled and chuckled nervously. "Heh heh… Forgot my rubber ducky…" He grabbed his duck of rubber and ran back out. 

~~~

A little while later, Vash ran back in, refreshed and ready for the day. "OK! Let's go revive Knives!" 

Suddenly, Milly ran in, crying. "Mary!! Mary, I'm so sorry!!"

Mary blinked. "What?… Please don't tell me…"

"I was in the lab…"

"No…"

"And I was being extra careful, but--"

"Please no…"

"I accidentally sent the Dragon Balls hurtling into the Inter-Dimensional portal!! WAAAH!!!"

"Shit… Just great…"

Vash sat down. "So… Knives is gone forever?… Milly, you--"

"I'm sorry!"

Vash stood up quickly and shouted at her. "Sorry isn't gonna bring Knives back, damn it!!!" Everyone stared at Vash. Milly began to cry again. Wolfwood glared at Vash. He closed his eyes and sat down. "I'm… I'm sorry, Milly…" 

Mary looked at the group of people. "Look, fighting isn't going to help… We can get the Dragon Balls back, but we'll have to split up and go on random, silly, non-serious adventures to get them back…"

Everyone stared at Mary. Vash cleared his throat. "…Yeah, I'm down with that…"

**_To Be Continued…_**

~~~

Gyah, this chapter got a teensy bit dramatic… Oh well, better luck next time! =P Seeya!


	5. Adventures in Time and Space! Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, Cowboy Bebop, or any of the characters from these series. 

Authors Notes: … Moo to you…

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

Chapter 5: Adventures in Time and Space! (Part 1)

And so, our heroes prepared for the trip through different dimensions in order to look for the Dragon Balls… 

Mary looked to everyone. "Alright, we need to decide who goes where and how we are going to do this… I guess I'll just stay here and make sure nothing goes wrong, while the rest of you go through the portal to the dimensions that the Dragon Balls are located in…" She stared the group. Vash, Meryl, Milly, Wolfwood, Kaite, Sayuri, and Gary. Meryl was carrying Vish. "Perfect… You will each go into a different dimension to gather the Dragon Balls…" She walked over and gently took Vish from Meryl. "Vish will stay here with me… Now, we have no idea what is in these portals, so be very careful…" The group nodded. Mary gave them each a special watch. "These watches are mini Dragon Radars, assigned to a specific Dragon Ball… Basically, you will all go into the portal, and the radars will take you to the dimension with a Dragon Ball… After they have all been found, I will push a button to bring you back here…" Mary's feet were suddenly fastened. "Good luck…" Mary pushed a button, and the others were sent hurtling into the portal. 

"Gyah, wait!!" Vash screamed. "I'm not ready!!--"

~~~

_The Adventure of Vash…_

Vash awoke in a dimly lit room. He looked around, and saw that he was in a clay building with glassless windows that were basically nothing but holes in the wall. His eyes eventually met with a young girl with brown hair and yellow eyes. She was wearing overalls and a white shirt. "Grandpa! He's woken up!!" The girl yelled behind her. Suddenly, an old man with a gray shirt, brown pants, and boots walked in. "What is it, Julie?…" He looked at Vash and smiled. "Ah, so you're awake… Are you alright, young man?… You took quite a fall…"

Vash fought not to laugh at the 'young man' comment. _"I'm older than him"_ Vash thought to himself. "Um… Yeah…"

"Good, good…" the old man then brought out a bat and whacked Vash on the head with it. 

"Ow!!" Vash screamed, holding his head. "What was that for?!"

"For bringing a gun in this house! Don't you know guns are forbidden by except the king and his men?!"

Vash blinked. _"Oh, that's right… I am in another dimension…"_ "Oh, sorry… I did not know that…"

Old man stared hard at Vash. "Where do you come from, young man?… I haven't seen you around these parts…"

"Oh, I'm from… Far away…"

"Damnit, outsiders are forbidden, too!! You wanna get pied?!"

Vash raised an eyebrow. "Pied?…"

Horses could be heard from outside. Vash ducked as a pie flew towards him. It hit the wall with a SPLAT. He walked over to the wall, stuck a finger in the pie, then licked his finger. "Mmm, banana cream…" He turned around to get hit in the face with a pie. "… AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S KIWI!!!!!! I HATE KIWI!!!" Vash began to run around the room hysterically. He slipped on some more pie and flew out the window. "Ow…" 

The men who were throwing pies rode up on horses. They were wearing black cloaks. One man with a fun hat walked up. "King Bill says this: 'Let it be known, that outsiders will be arrested, then executed without fair trial. Ha ha ha ha… ha ha…'… So get the hell up, your ass is arrested…" The men in cloaks pick up Vash and rode through the desert. 

"Good riddance…" the old man said. "Boy was nothing but trouble…"

Julie looked to her grandfather. "Grandpa, please can we go save him?… He was nice…"

The old man glared. "No! And that's final…" Julie looked to the old man sadly, whimpering. "No, that won't work this time…" She began crying. "… Alright, let's go…"

~~~

At the castle…

Vash was tossed to the king's feet. He looked up to the king to see… "Shishio?! How did you get a role in this fanfic?!" 

The mummy-like man looked to the camera, smiled sadistically, and simply said "I have a Hollywood agent…"

"But I thought you hated the Meiji Restoration and the modernization of Japan! Why are you using guns?!"

"My men and I don't use guns… And now I will show off my creepy-ness by biting off your manhood…" Shishio calmly said, going mad and opening with saliva saturated mouth wildly while jumping towards Vash. 

"Gyah!!! NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Stop right there, King Bill!!" the old man screamed, running in.

Shishio glared. "I forgot who gave me that name… Remind me to purge him when I find out…"

"Boy!" the old man yelled. "Here is your gun!!" the old man tossed the gun to Vash, but with super speed, Shishio chopped the gun in two. 

Vash gasped. Shishio laughed. "Now, I shall strike you all down!!"

Suddenly, a young man with long golden hair in a ponytail burst in. "Shishio!!! Your reign ends here!!!" The young man was wearing a coat that looked like Vash's, but was very tattered looking. A few strands of hair fell down his face. His eyes were a light gray. He smiled at Vash. "Dad, catch!" he tossed Vash's gun, now reapaired, to the confused humanoid. "Did you just call me… dad?…" 

Shishio growled. "I will kill you all!! If you are strong, you live! If you are weak, you die!!" Shishio rushed towards them, but Vash and the young man disappeared. The old man was already gone. "Grah!!"

~~~

Outside, the young man explained things. Vash's eyes widened as he pointed at the mysterious youth. "You're Vish?…" 

Vish nodded. "Yep… And I have something for you…" he pulled out an orange sphere out of his pocket. It had a single red star on it. 

"That's a Dragon Ball!"

"Yep… Mother found it a few years ago, and kept it safe until you… The one from the past… Came to get it…"

"So… what happened here?"

"Shortly after we all returned, we discovered that our journey's had caused a rift in the entire universe… People from different dimensions came here and a war for control began… Almost everyone involved in the battle perished… Except Shishio and a handful of people in our group… Most civilians fortunately lived…"

"So… Meryl…"

"Mom is fine… But you never returned with this One Star Dragon Ball, and then Wolfwood, Sayuri, Mary, and Gary died… Kaite lost his… ahem…"

"Ow… Lost his girl and his pride…"

"Yeah, bummer… Anyway, when he finally recovered, he began training me… But he tried to face off against Shishio and--"

"--Died?…"

"No… Then he lost his hair…"

"I bet by then he wished he was dead…"

"Finally, he died by choking on a pretzel…"

"Yikes… The future isn't going to be kind to him…"

"Anyway, you must go now… Maybe, just maybe… You can change time…"

"Goodbye, son…"

"Goodbye… dad…"

Vash disappeared in a blue flash.

Vish blinked. "I wonder what mom is making for dinner…"

~~~

_The_ _Adventure of Wolfwood…_

Wolfwood sat on a couch. He looked at his watch. "Look, how long are you gonna have me sit here? I'm telling you, I'm not a bad guy!"

The crazy hacker sometimes known as 'Radical Edward' growled viciously at the priest. He looked at her nervously. "Hey, hey, hey… Calm down there…"

Jet walked into the room, then looked at Wolfwood. "So, how the hell did you get here?…" 

Wolfwood smirked. "Would you believe me if I said that I traveled here through an inter-dimensional portal built by a genius high school student?…"

Jet smirked back. "Not a chance…"

Faye glared from the doorway. "I don't trust him…"

"I like him…" Spike joked as he walked down the steps. "He reminds me of me a bit… If I liked kids…"

Faye smiled. "That's exactly why I don't trust him…"

"…Stuff it, Faye…"

"Ooh… So very mature, Chia-head…"

"Resorting to name calling, now are we?…"

Wolfwood flinched. "Do they always argue like this?…"

"This is nothing… They're actually in a good mood right now…" he stared at the two younger adults. "They're like brother and sister… In fact, we're all like a family on this ship…"

Wolfwood became somewhat saddened as he realized that he missed his own little 'dysfunctional family that isn't really a family'. He suddenly stood up. "Damnit…"

Jet raised an eyebrow. "What's up, Wolfwood?…"

"I was here searching for something that would bring me back to my home and help bring back a friend… Well actually, he wasn't much of a friend and kept hitting on my girl…"

Jet twitched. "What?! Movin' in on your girl?! Then go and kill that bastard yourself!!! Twist off your mechanical arm and--" he calmed down. "Oh right, you don't have a mechanical arm…" he lost it again. "Then wait till he's asleep, then--"

"Jet, stop it man… I'm a priest, for God's sake… Not a very good one, but even I have my limits…"

"Right… In that case, just--"

"NO. I am not that jealous. Besides, I trust my Milly…"

"You won't be saying that when she dumps you for some psycho, and then when you ask _why_ she left you, she's all like 'well, you were too demanding… I needed my space'… 'Space', my ass…"

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow. "Um, I think I'll leave you alone for now…" Wolfwood then tiptoed away. He then sat next to Spike. "So…"

"Yeah?…" Spike said, not looking at anything in particular… 

"Nice outfit…"

"Yeah, same to you…"

A few feet away, Ed was crawling towards Spike's room. The girl had always wondered what was in Spike's room. She quickly opened the unlocked door and ran in. Spike instantly stood up. "Ed! Damnit, Ed!! Get out of my room!" Spike ran in. 

"Ooh!…" Ed began, picking up the Two Star Dragon Ball. "Pretty…"

Wolfwood, walking in, stared at the Dragon Ball and then at Spike. "Spiiike…"

Spike blinked. "Um, yeah?…"

"… You have a Dragon Ball?…"

Spike shrugged. "Hell, I didn't know what it was… I was just using it as a paper weight…"

Wolfwood stared at Ed. "Edaward?…"

"Yes-Yes?" Ed saluted Wolfwood. 

"Could you give Uncle Nicky that shiny ball?…"

"No! Edward found it!!" Ed screamed, and began to snarl. 

"Ed!! Give me the ball, please…"

"…" Wolfwood walked back into the Bebop's 'living room' and grabbed Ed's 'Tomato' laptop. "Ed, give me the ball, or the computer gets it…"Ed snarled, and jumped toward Wolfwood, dropping the ball in the process. Spike absent mindedly caught it and scratched his head. He tried to bite into it, but broke a tooth. "Ow!" 

~~~

So after a quick tussle with Ed, Wolfwood retrieved the Dragon Ball and said his goodbyes to the Bebop crew. He shook hands with Spike. "Seeya, Spike… I'm think we both agree when I saw that it feels like we're both leaving a part of ourselves…"

"Heh heh…" Spike chuckled. "Yeah… Maybe we'll see each other again?…"

"Who knows…" Wolfwood waved again as he faded out in a glow of blue.

~~~

Meanwhile…

"Oh, they're so cute!!" Milly squealed, hugging a bunch of hamsters.

Hamtaro choked out. "Ack… Can't… breath?… Heke?" Hamtaro slipped out of Milly's reach. He ran toward a strange shiny object. He reached it, and saw that it was an orange ball with 5 red stars on it. He rolled towards Milly and tilted his head.

Milly looked down and smiled. "The 5 Star ball! Oh thank you, cute little hamster!!" To the relief of the other Ham-Hams, Milly put them down and hugged Hamtaro even tighter. "You're so cute!!"

"Eep…" Hamtaro fell to the ground and saw that the 'crazy hug girl' was gone.

Bijou ran up to Hamtaro. "Are you alright, Hamtaro?…"

Hamtaro coughed. "Yeah… No thanks to that crazy-ass bitch…"

~~~

Somewhere else…

Sayuri awoke in a bed. She looked around. The room was completely dark except for a single light surrounding the area around the bed. She tried to get up, but realized that she was tied up. "What is this?! Is someone there?! Let me go!!" 

Mary walked into the room, wearing her cloak. She smiled at Sayuri. "Why hello there, Sayuri…" She walked over to the bed. "How are you?…"

Sayuri got a look of relief. "Mary! Thank goodness! I don't know what you are doing here, but could you help me out of this?…"

"Sorry Sayuri, I'm afraid I can't do that…"

"Why not?!"

"You see, Sayuri… This is a dimension created by me, or at least the real me…" She slowly pulled off her cloak to reveal a black bustier. "All of my real self's deepest, darkest fantasies take place here…" She hopped on the bed and crawled on her knees towards Sayuri. "And I plan to make you mine…" She licked her lips. "…and only mine…"

"B-but… Mary!!… I kind of thought you swung that way after the elevator thing, but I have a boyfr--"

"Do you really think I give a shit?… I _love_ you, damn it… I _want_ you… Now we can either do this the easy way, or I can make you my bitch…" Mary then kissed Sayuri on the lips, forcing her tongue into Sayuri's mouth. 

"Mmph!!" Sayuri panicked. But it was no use… They were the only ones there…

**__**

To Be Continued…

~~~

La, la, la… Oh come on, like you people that were paying attention to the hints I dropped about Mary couldn't see that coming! Anyway, that's it for now! Seeya all later!


	6. Adventures in Time and Space! Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, the cereal mascots, or Gundam… Or the Dragon Balls, for that matter… In fact, the only original thing about this whole thing are maybe a few jokes, and some of the characters… 

Author's Notes: Mwahahaha… Now that I have thoroughly disgusted everyone, let's get on with the story… =) Part 2 of the 'Time and Space' storyline! Onward!!

~~~

The Random Adventures of Vash!

__

Chapter 6: **_Adventures in Time and Space!_** (Part 2)

The Adventure of Sayuri…

Sayuri awoke in a bed. (Yes, you must endure this again… XD) She looked around. The room was completely dark except for a single light surrounding the area around the bed. She tried to get up, but realized that she was tied up. "What is this?! Is someone there?! Let me go!!" 

Mary walked into the room, wearing her cloak. She smiled at Sayuri. "Why hello there, Sayuri…" She walked over to the bed. "How are you?…"

Sayuri got a look of relief. "Mary! Thank goodness! I don't know what you are doing here, but could you help me out of this?…"

"Sorry Sayuri, I'm afraid I can't do that…"

"Why not?!"

"You see, Sayuri… This is a dimension created by me, or at least the real me…" She slowly pulled off her cloak to reveal a black bustier. "All of my real self's deepest, darkest fantasies take place here…" She hopped on the bed and crawled on her knees towards Sayuri. "And I plan to make you mine…" She licked her lips. "…and only mine…"

"B-but… Mary!!… I kind of thought you swung that way after the elevator thing, but I have a boyfr--"

"Do you really think I give a shit?… I _love_ you, damn it… I _want_ you… Now we can either do this the easy way, or I can make you my bitch…" Mary then kissed Sayuri on the lips, forcing her tongue into Sayuri's mouth. 

"Mmph!!" Sayuri panicked. But it was no use… They were the only ones there…

Sayuri bit Mary's tongue. Mary quickly jerked away. "Ow! What'd you do that for?!"

Sayuri glared. "What do you think?… If you truly love someone, you don't rape them! Geez!" Suddenly, a gateway opened, the Real Mary stepped in. She blinked, then smacked her forehead. "Oh , not this dream again… I completely soaked the sheets that night--" Real Mary quickly stopped herself and coughed. "Erm, sorry…" She walked over to the Fantasy Mary, pressed on her neck, and Fantasy Mary fell asleep. Then, she walked over to the bed and freed Sayuri. "Anyway, I sort of forgot that I had this world set on 'sexual fantasy'… I was actually hoping to send you to one of my 'cuter' fantasies where we went on an innocent date and found a cute little kitty…" Real Mary coughed again. "Anyway… Hello, Sayuri…" Mary waved. 

Sayuri blinked and stuttered while she spoke. "M-M-M-Mary… You're a les--"

Mary quickly interrupted. "Bi-Sexual… And yes, I am madly in love with you…"

"… How long was this?" Sayuri asked, rubbing her sore wrists.

"Well, first I had a bit of a crush on Kaite… But after our fight, there was… just something about you…" 

"Well, sorry… But I am completely straight…"

"I know… The only thing I can do now is dream about you…"

"Mary, that's not healthy…" Sayuri then quickly waved her hands. "I mean, not the being bi thing!-- But, um… You just can't obsess over anyone, guy or girl… It's just not healthy…"

"I know…" Mary walked up and kissed Sayuri one last time on the lips. She then broke the kiss, tears flowing down her face. "It's just so hard… trying to give you up…"

Sayuri gave a smile of reassurance. "Hey, what are you crying over me for?… I'm just a dirty ol' tomboy…"

Mary suddenly hugged her. "But that's what I love about you…"

Sayuri hugged back. "It's okay…" She then sighed. "But we still haven't found the Dragon Ball that's supposed to be here…"

Mary blinked. Again. Then she walked to the knocked out Fantasy Mary, reached into her bustier, and pulled out the 4 Star Dragon Ball. She then walked over to Sayuri and handed it to her. Sayuri stared at Mary. Mary blinked. "…What?…" 

"Freak…"

~~~

Meanwhile, in King Enma's Castle…

"Millions Knives!" the giant creature of judgment growled. 

"Gyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" Knives screamed. 

"…Do you like cookies?…" King Enma smiled, taking out a plate of cookies. "My wife just baked some fresh from the oven! I hope you like Chocolate Chip…"

Knives blinked in amazement, then grabbed a cookie. "Um, yes… Thank you…"

"Who the hell said you could eat one of my cookies!!!"

"Eh?!…"

"… BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ah don't worry, just screwin' with ya! Anyway, I need you to go down to Hell for me…"

"What?! But… I was misguided! I didn't mean to do those bad things!!! I had a traumatizing childhood!!!"

"No, no… Nothing like that! I was just having trouble with some people down there… You're the only one besides me that could take them out! I'm a very busy man… Don't worry, you're going to Heaven! You're last deed, plus doing this for me will be enough to repent and get in…"

"…Wow, that was all I had to do?… But wait… I'm a plant, not human!"

"Neither are the guys down there I want you to take care of!"

"Eh?…"

"You'll see…"

~~~

And so, Knives went down to Hell… He walked around for a bit, when he heard about a disturbance at the local theater… He walked down there and stared at the sight…

"Hey!" the Trix Rabbit yelled. "That's the guy!"

"I bet he thinks he's so GRRRRRREAT!" Tony the Tiger laughed. "Let's get him!"

"I have to follow my nose!…" Toucan Sam said, refined. "…to your ASS, where my FOOT will be!"

"Knives!" Fred screamed. "You stole my Pebbles!"

Knives looked confused. "But I don't even know what Pebbles are!!"

"Well, that just gives me more reason to kick your ass!"

Knives stared on in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me…"

The mascots then pulled out guns. Knives gulped. "Don't I get a last request?…"

The mascots paused for a moment. "Nope…"

Suddenly, in a flash, the guns were all shot out of their hands. Knives and the mascots looked over to see a woman in white, holding two derringers. She smiled. "All in one shot each… Nice to see I'm not rusty…"

Knives blinked. "Meryl?!"

"Yep! Meryl Stryfe, at your service!"

~~~

_Meryl's Adve--_

~~~

"Cut it out, jerk!" Meryl scolded.

"Excuse the unintentional pun, but what the hell are you doing here?…"

"Well, me and the others are on a quest for the Dragon Balls, lost in Time and Space thanks to Milly… It seems that either the machine has a glitch, or the Dragon Ball I am looking for is somewhere around here…" Meryl looked at her mini-Dragon Radar. (which everyone else seems to have forgot about… idiots… ¬_¬) "Nope, no mistake! One of these guys has it!"

"A Dragon Ball?" Tony scratched his head. "Now why would someone do that to a poor dragon?…"

Meryl growled. "Not that kind! It's a big, orange pearl-like object with a certain number of stars on it!"

Tony blinked. "Y'mean this?…" the tiger reached under his red bandana to reveal the 6 star Dragon Ball. "I found this in my bowl of Frosted Flakes one morning… In fact, that's how I died… Choked on the damn sucker…"

Meryl raised an eyebrow. "Wait, why are you all in Hell? You're mascots!"

Tony coughed. "All product mascots go to Hell, unfortunately…"

"For what?!" Meryl screamed, surprised. 

Tony looked down to the ground sadly. "False advertising…"

Meryl blinked. "Oh, I see… I think…"

"Anyway, I don't want this piece of shit…" Tony growled. "You can have it…" Tony was about to walk over and hand the ball over to Meryl, when Silly Rabbit intervened. 

"Wait, what are you doing?! Don't just give it to her!" Silly Rabbit screamed. 

Tony glared. "Man, look… I love you and all, I mean we're like brothers almost, but did you see her accuracy? I don't wanna mess with that shit, dude…."

"They're just derringers! Puny little guns with only two bullets per gun! We've got better!" 

"Oh, boys?…" Meryl called over to them. "There's reason why I'm called 'Derringer Meryl…'" She smirked and opened up her outer cloak, revealing her many derringers. 

The mascots eyes widened. "Holy Shit!" Fred Flinstone screamed. "That bitch is packing heat! Let's get the hell out of here!!" They all ran off, Tony tossing the Dragon Ball. 

"… Why'd they run away like that?… " Meryl asked curiously. "They're already dead…"

"Because, if you 'die' in the afterlife…" Knives began, dramtically. "… Your soul will completely be destroyed, leaving absolutely no hope of ever being revived or reincarnated…" Knives smirked. "It's nice to see you again, Spider Woman…"

Meryl returned the smirk. "Same to you, Knives… Once we revive you, everyone else will be glad, too…"

"Oh yes, the Dragon Ball's wishing power… Well, I guess you have to be going now…"

"Yeah… Seeya later, Knives…" Meryl walked over to the Dragon Ball, picked it up, and slowly disappeared in a glow of blue. 

Knives simply stood there for a few moments before finally saying. "Now how the hell do I get out of here?…"

~~~

_Kaite's-- Aww, you get the point…_

Somewhere in space…

Kaite awoke in a dark, cold place. He slowly opened his eyes groaned in pain. "What happened?…" He heard voices. "Crap, gotta hide!" He crawled up some steps, and reached the top of some sort of giant machine. He accidentally brushed against a button and a door opened. He stared suspiciously, but hopped into the machine anyway. It quickly shut closed. "Damn, it was a trap!" He looked around at all the buttons. "Or maybe not…" The machine suddenly activated. "What the?!---" Lights flickered on, and Kaite instinctively grabbed the controls. A door on the ship Kaite was on opened, and Kaite's eyes widened as he saw that he was in space. The machine suddenly took off at break neck speed, out of the ship and into space. From the machine, Kaite could hear a voice blaring over a speaker. 

"The Mobile Suit 'L Gundam' has been stolen! All Zaka-Zaka units prepare to pursue the thief!"

"Oh, crap!!" Kaite saw several units chasing after him. From the outside, we see that the Gundam is white with red stripes and a purple chest. He pulled a random lever, and the Gundam pulled out a blue sword. "What the--" Kite moved a joystick around and the Gundam began to wildly swing the sword, blocking all gun blasts and slicing through any Zaka-Zaka's that dared get near him. He saw a vision of a sword swinging towards him from behind, and he turned around to block it with his sword. He was face to face with another Gundam. This one was completely black except for it's face which was red, and it's green eyes stared at him. 

Inside this new Gundam was a guy in a mask. He smirked. "This one is good… It must be the Legendary Amuro Ray himself…" 

Suddenly, some other Gundam's came along and blew the hell out of the Zaka-Zaka's, so the bad guys retreated. The cowards…

~~~

So, on the ship, Kaite met with the crew… "So… Who are you guys?…"

A man, presumably the leader of this operation, walked up to Kaite. "Hi! I'm Amuro Ray, the original 'whiny guy who complains about not wanting to fight, then when he actually gets into a mech he is a killing machine/insane'! Shinji Ikari, Yuji Kaido, and Kira Yamato have got nothing on me!"

"… Who the hell are they?…"

"… Not important! Just like these guys behind me! In fact, they'll probably all be dead for no reason by the time this story is over! Just like Star Trek!"

"Sir! This boy, Kaite, is a Newtype!" a man said, looking at some scans. "He could be a good asset to the battle!"

"So, how about joining us?"

"Look, I have things to do… Sorry, but I don't want to fight!"

"That's the spirit! You're in!"

~~~

Meanwhile, back on Gunsmoke…

Mary and Sayuri walked out of the portal. Sayuri blinked. "I never want to go through that again…" Mackenzie waved, holding Vish. Sayuri waved back.

Suddenly, Vash came through the portal. "Yay! I got it!" He yelled, holding up the Dragon Ball. 

Then, Milly, Meryl, and Wolfwood came out. "We made it out alive!"

"Wait…" Mary began. "Where are Kaite and Gary?…"

Vash looked around. "Maybe something is holding them up?…"

A red flash suddenly filled the room. When it subsided, Future Vish stood there. "Um, hello everyone…"

"Vish!" Vash suddenly yelled. "Hi, son!"

"Eeeeh?…" Meryl twitched.

F. Vish smacked his forehead. "Oh well, anyway, I just wanted to check up on things…" He looked around at the strange looks he was getting. "Oh, yeah… Aunt Mary was working on a time traveling watch before she died… She taught me a few things, so I did a bit here and there and completed it… I just came to check up on things… I see that father returned, so the future may have hope…"

"Yeah, but Kaite and Gary aren't here yet…" Mary replied.

"Hmm… Odd…"

Mary looked over to the machine. "Oh, no…"

"…What?…"

"All that traveling caused a rift… There is going to be a dimension burp…"

"…Burp?" Wolfwood began. "What does that mean?…"

"It means… The Universe is collapsing and to repair it, people from different dimensions are going to be tossed here…"

"No!" F. Vish yelled. "This is… This is too early!…"

Everyone looked on in horror as the siren went off…

**_To Be Continued…_**

~~~

Annnnd the shit has hit the fan! ^_^;


	7. Adventures in Time and Space! Part 3

Disclaimer: Look, I do not own anything except the characters that I created! So nyah! And that's all! 

Authors Notes: Okay, now that I've officially scarred everyone… Let's just wrap this 'Time and Space' storyline up so we can get back to the random humor episodic chapters. Okay, let's see… Everyone except Kaite and Gary has returned, and the universe is having a meltdown. Hey, if I can get this thing up to 13 chapters, my entire "Trigun Comedy" series will have a total of 26 chapters… Kinda makes me wish I had simply tacked this story on as additional 13 chapters to my first Trigun humor series. Anyway, you came here to read offensive and sometimes random off the wall humor mixed in with a bit of drama and romance with a pinch of actual plot, now didn't you? So I end this a shameless plug… **Buy Trigun: Volume 2 and Trigun Maximum: Volume 1 (Coming Next Month!) as soon as you can!!! Only $14.95, and it's almost twice as big as most Graphic Novels!!!** End shameless plug, now on with the fic!

~~~

****

The Random Adventures of Vash!

Chapter 7: _Adventures in Time and Space!_ (Part 3, the Conclusion)

F. Vish cursed to himself. "Damn! It's too early! It's not supposed to happen for another day or two! What's going on?!"

Mary glared at F. Vish. "If my future self _did_ teach you a few things, then you should know what's going on…" She walked over to a nearby chalk board.

"Eh?…" F. Vish said, confused. He scratched his head. "What are you talking about?"

"While your efforts to save the future were valiant, you may have ended up screwing up Time and Space even more when you help Dad get back…" She drew a skull on the chalk board. 

"What does the skull represent?" Wolfwood asked. 

Mary looked to Wolfwood. "Nothing, I just felt like drawing… Anyway, everyone follow me…" Mary walked out of the lab and everyone followed. They all ended up outside. Mary pointed up to the sky, which was turning pink. It had a very small purple dot in it. "I'd like to bring your attention to the sky… You see that purple dot in the sky? That is a gateway to our dimension…" She looked to her watch, which was counting down from an hour. It said 0:57:48, which is basically 0 hours, 57 minutes, and 48 seconds. "According to my watch's 'Climactic Final Countdown' mode, we have an hour before the gate opens and we are invading by all sorts of strange people, good and evil…"

"Shishio…" F. Vish hissed. Everyone except Vash and Mary were staring at him. "Oh, in case you didn't know, I am Vish from a post-apocalyptic future ruled over by Makoto Shishio with an iron fist… Guns are not allowed, but I retrieved dead Uncle Knives's gun and fought against him… So far, I've managed to put together a little rebellion. After my dad, the Legendary Vash the Stampede returned, people saw it as a sign and they regained the courage to fight. I stole a few other guns from the vault and now we are working on a way to defeat him. I came up with a plan to lure him into a Twinkie factory and over stuff him but Mom said that was a stupid idea and--" 

A few minutes passed… 

"--Anyway, I came here to see if I could help to change the future by fixing the past, but as young Aunt Mary said, it would seemed that I have maybe screwed you all over even worse, as now we only have less than an hour to prepare for some reason…" 

Everyone else simply stood there, having a brain meltdown. Mary snapped out of it and glared at F. Vish. "And now we only have 45 minutes… That explanation was too friggin long, jackass…"

F. Vish frowned, a bit hurt. "Well sorry…"

Mary sighed. "Well, we don't have much time to prepare… What people should we be looking out for in our group currently?…"

F. Vish hummed. "Well let's see… Wolfwood would be the first to fall, dying tomorrow after facing off against Shishio, then we hide for a bit… Kaite and Sayuri go to fight him a few weeks later. Sayuri perishes, and Kaite loses his manhood…"

"What the hell?!" Sayuri screams.

F. Vish coughs, then continues. "12 years pass, I learn a few gunman skills from Kaite and my mother… I also learn machines from Aunt Mary… Uncle Gary is killed when he goes out to buy some milk, then Mary tries to get revenge and she dies… So finally, Kaite and I try to fight Shishio and Kaite somehow loses his hair… Depressed, Kaite dies a few days later after choking on a pretzel…"

"My poor Kaite!" Sayuri whines.

"So now, it's been 5 years. I am 17 years old now, and Mom, Milly, and myself have been in hiding. I trained, and put together a rebellion… And that's it…"

"Damn it, you wasted too much time again…" Mary scolded. "Now we only have 25 minutes…"

Vish stood there silently. After a few seconds, he finally spoke up. "Well shit…"

~~~

Meanwhile, in the year Universal Century 0087... 

"Soooo…" Kaite began, looking at his outfit. He was wearing white and blue tights with some red and yellow stripes. "What's up with the jumpsuit?"

Bright Noa stepped up. "It's standard issue uniform… You don't like it, you can pilot naked for all I care…"

Kaite blinked. "Well, why can't I go back to my locker and wear my regular clothes?"

"THIS AIN'T NO GUNDAM WING!! I WILL NOT HAVE YOU FIGHT IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING!!!"

"Okay, okay!" Kaite said, waving his hands in front of him. "… And what the hell is Gundam Wing?…"

"It's a more recent series, filled with pretty boys and flashy Gundam fighting. Thanks to Bandai for dubbing the different series out of order, 1979's 'Mobile Suit Gundam' got aired after 1995's 'New Mobile Report Gundam Wing' became a phenomenon and the ratings sucked because of the dated animation… Hopefully, the same won't happen when they air the almost brand new series from 2002, 'Mobile Suit Gundam SEED' and then 1985's 'Mobile Suit Z Gundam'… Damn Alternate Universe series!!! Damn them all to hell!!"

"Um…" Kaite began, nervously. "I have no idea what you are talking about, but I'm gonna go prepare…" He turned around when he bumped into Amuro. "Um, hey…"

Amuro smiled. "Don't worry about Bright, Kaite… He's just angry that his role in Gundam ended with the movie 'Char's Counter Attack', and when they finally returned to the UC continuation, it was more than 100 years later…"

Kaite put a hand behind his head. "Um… I have no idea what the hell you just, but okay…"

"Anyway, if I were you I wouldn't complain about what you have to wear. Compared to what I had to wear when I first joined, that outfit actually looks cool…" Amuro laughed.

"Hey, wait… You're a Gundam pilot, aren't you? Why don't you have to wear this thing?" Kaite complained, waving his arms.

"Hey, you're the main pilot now, not me… Besides, I got promoted to 'Mentor'… All I have to do is stand here in a suit and look cool…" Amuro tugged on his green suit. "I'm mainly here for fan service for the old school fans."

"Um, riiight… Anyway, what does the 'L' in L Gundam mean, anyway?" Kaite asked, scratching his head.

"Oh, that?" Amuro smiled. "It means loser!"

"What?!" Kaite screamed out. "You mean I pilot the Mobile Suit Loser Gundam?!"

Amuro shrugs. "Hey, it wasn't my idea… Well, good luck in the battle Kaite! Hope you don't die!" Amuro then walked off.

Kaite gulped, then continued on his way to the Loser Gundam…

~~~

Back on Gunsmoke…

Meryl finished reloading her derringers. "Well, this is it…" She looked to her best friend. "Ready, Milly?…"

Milly picked up her huge Stun Gun with ease. "Yep!"

Wolfwood slung the Cross Punisher 3 over his shoulder. "Thanks for helping me upgrade this thing, Mary…"

Mary smiled slightly. "No problem…" She looked at her watch. "Uh oh… Showtime, guys…"

Vash looked at the black and purple sky. "Alright, everyone… No matter what, we stick through this… Together…" He and the others stared at the slowly growing purple hole. Vash gulped as demons, girls wearing almost nothing, cute animal-like creatures, swordsman, and all sorts of things came out of the portal. "Um, I think we're in trouble…"

~~~

Back in Universal Century 0087...

"So Bright…" Kaite began. "What are all of us fighting for?…"

Bright cleared his throat. "Well, it was originally part of a conflict called the One Year War, but recently we have been fighting over this…" Bright pulled something out of his pocket. It was the Seven Star Dragon Ball. 

Kaite's eyes widened. "Sir?… Could I borrow that as a good luck charm?…"

Bright thought for a moment. "Sure, why not! Here you go!" Bright then handed the ball to Kaite. Kaite began to disappear in a blue glow. "What the hell?!"

"Ha ha! Seeya, suckers!" Kaite was then gone. 

Bright blinked. "Interesting…"

Suddenly, a Zeon ship flew by. Someone was speaking through a communication system screen. "Earth Federation! Give up the shiny thing or die!"

Bright spoke to the captain of the Zeon ship. "We don't have it anymore!"

"Then prepare to be nuked several times over, Earth scum!"

"… Well, we're screwed… One last game of Twister?…" 

Suddenly, the ship was being pulled into a growing purple hole…

~~~

Back on Gunsmoke…

Makoto Shishio stood victorious over the beaten anime characters. They were not dead yet, but Shishio would kill them eventually. "Heh heh heh… No one can stand up against me… It's a good thing the Battousai wasn't brought here as well, or I would have my hands full…"

Vegeta groaned. "This can't be… beaten by a mummy man?…"

Excel staggered up to her feet. "Hail… Lord Il Palazz…ow…" Excel fell back down to the ground. 

Wolfwood peeked from behind a giant boulder. "So tell me why we are hiding behind this boulder instead of fighting?…"

F. Vish looked to Wolfwood. "Because, he is too strong! No one can beat him! If you try to shoot, he'll just block them with his sword! He's not human!"

"… Well while that is a very good point, I'd rather die fighting than hide for about a few years and eventually be hunted down anyway…"

F. Vish put on a sad face. "But…"

Milly squealed. "Eeeeeee!! He's so cute! He's like a younger, girly looking Vash but… he's not!" Milly pinched his cheek. 

F. Vish blushed. "Girly?!"

Vash rubbed his chin. "Now that you think about it, he does look more girly than me… Must get it from Meryl…"

Meryl 'hmphed'. "Whatever… I think he's handsome young man, and I am glad that my son is going to turn out good looking…" She smiled at Vish. "Isn't dat wight, mista!"

Vish smiled and gurgled. "Goo…"

Meryl frowned. "It's a shame that he can't speak a word or walk yet, though… He's almost 2!"

Vash smiled. "Give it time, honey…"

Suddenly, Shishio popped up behind them. "Heeeeere's Shishi!"

Vash screamed like a girl. "Eeeek! AHHHHHHHHOHMYGODHE'SGONNAKILLUSHELPAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Vash then picked up Meryl, who was still carrying Vish, and ran. 

Wolfwood coughed, then looked to the running Vash. "Yeah, way to look out for your friends!"

Milly giggled. "Well, you can't expect Mr. Vash to carry us all, can you?"

"Well yeah, but…" 

Shishio growled. "Rar…"

Mary's eyes widened. "Good lord, why am I so frightened right now?…"

"I don't know, but whoever this guy is, he sure freaks me out…" Kaite said, arms crossed. He smiled. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Kaite!" Sayuri yelled, pouncing Kaite and knocking him to the ground. "You're back! But why are you in those strange clothes?…"

Kaite smacked his forehead. "Damn, I knew I was forgetting something… I forgot my clothes in that strange place… That was a cool jacket, too…"

Shishio snarled. "Fear me!"

Mary blinked. "Oh of course… In all the confusion, we forgot about the crazy murderous mummy man… I say we run…"

Wolfwood nodded in agreement. "Let's…"

Everyone began running. They finally caught up with Vash, who at that point had put Meryl down to run for herself. Wolfwood took this opportunity to punch Vash in the back of the head, knocking him down to the ground. 

"Ow!" Vash yelled as he got up from the sandy ground. "What was that for?!"

Wolfwood stared at Vash. "What do you think, needle noggin?! You basically just abandoned us back there! What happened to 'No matter what, we stick through this together', huh?!"

"I thought you were right behind me, I swear!"

"Vash, I'm sick of your crap, damn it!"

Milly couldn't take anymore. She yelled out. "Stop fighting!!"

Vash and Wolfwood looked to Milly. Wolfwood blushed. "I'm sorry… I'll stop fighting…"

Vash laughed nervously. "Yeah, me too…"

Milly smiled. "Good…" Her smile, however, quickly turned into a look of pain and shock. 

The others stared in horror as Shishio's sword was sticking out of Milly's stomach. Blood was slowly staining the area on her clothes around her abdomen. He cruelly twisted the blade, the blood rushing out faster. Milly, unable to talk, coughed violently, and a rush of blood poured out of her mouth. 

Wolfwood ran over to Shishio and Milly. "Bastard!! Stop that right now!"

Shishio smiled and pulled the blade out of Milly, and she fell to her knees, then fell face first into the sand. The only thing that had been holding her up was the sword. Shishio stepped back and watched her bleed in the sand.

"Milly, no!!!" Meryl screamed out, trying to run over to her fallen friend. 

Vash held her back. "No, Meryl… It's too dangerous…"

"Milly!!!" Wolfwood screamed loudly. He rushed over to her. "Milly… Are you alright?!"

Milly, her pupils dilated, irises and skin pale, looked up to Wolfwood. "Ni…cky…"

"Please… Save your strength…" Wolfwood whispered. A tears ran down his cheeks. 

"Nicky, I'm sorry… Goodbye…"

"Don't talk that way! We can get you help!" Wolfwood yelled. Milly no longer spoke. He gently set her body down, then looked to Shishio. "You… Bastard!! I'll kill you!!" Wolfwood ran towards Shishio, Cross Punisher ready to shoot. Shishio disappeared from his view. "What?!" Shishio appeared behind Wolfwood and swung his sword at Wolfwood's neck. Wolfwood quickly turned and blocked with the Cross Punisher. 

Shishio smirked. "Interesting… You're able to move quickly with that hulking thing?… I underestimated your strength and speed…"

"Didn't you know?… I'm a priest, and this thing is filled with mercy…" Wolfwood hissed. His eyes widened as he swung at Shishio with his fist. "But none for YOU!!!" Wolfwood screamed as he hit Shishio directly in the face. Shishio went flying a few feet away. Wolfwood readied his Cross Punisher, ready to blow the mummy samurai away. Shishio quickly got up and ran towards Wolfwood. He lunged at the priest, his sword heading towards his stomach. Wolfwood managed to grab the blunt end. It was too late, though. The sword had sunk into his abdomen. He groaned, but gave Shishio a surprise head butt. Shishio went flying away again, this time without his sword. It was still in Wolfwood's gut. He pulled it out and fell backwards onto the ground, eyes closed. Vash ran over to him. "Wolfwood!! Don't die on us, too!! Unlike Milly and Knives, you won't be coming back!!"

Wolfwood opened his eyes. "…Could you be any louder? Anyway, relax… I'm just resting…" Wolfwood began to laugh. 

Vash raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?…"

"Y'know, I was so pissed off at Shishio, I totally forgot about the Dragon Balls… I got messed up over nothin'…"

"Heh… That is pretty funny… But rest up, friend… I'll take I from here…" Vash stood up and brought out his yellow tinted sunglasses. With a stern, serious look on his face, he put them on. He stood in front of Shishio, who had just got up. 

"So, Vash… Are you angry that I killed your friend?…" Shishio said coldly.

"Milly… was the sweetest, most innocent woman I know… And although she's not gone forever, what you did to her is unforgivable… No has the right to take another's life, but when someone does something as cruel as what you did…" Vash drew his gun. "… something has to be done to make sure no one else gets hurt…"

"… Is that so?…" Shishio ran towards Vash and slashed at his gun, knocking it out of his hand. 

"BWAGH?!" Vash screamed in surprise. He began running away. "Not again!"

Kaite ran over to the gun and picked it up. He ran over to Shishio and saw his future attack. He dodged it and tripped Shishio. He shot at the fallen samurai on the ground, who blocked with his sword. However, at being this close, the sword shattered. Pieces of metal flew into Shishio's eyes. He screamed in pain and rolled on the ground. "Agh, that hurts!!! Why would you do something like that?!"

Wolfwood yelled over to Vash. "Vash!! Grab the Cross Punisher and pushed the blue button!!"

Vash grab the huge cross on it and stared. There was a dark blue and light blue. _"There are 2 blue buttons!! Oh well…"_ Vash pushed the dark blue button. A giant blue laser shot out and hit Shishio, completely disintegrating him. Vash's eyes widened. 

Wolfwood coughed. "Um, Vash?… Which blue button did you push?"

"Dark blue… Why?"

"Well, light blue would send him back to where he came, but… Eh, this works…"

"That it does… He was going to spontaneously combust anyway…" a womanly looking man with a sword said.

Vash blinked. "Hey, aren't you?…"

The man nodded. "Himura Kenshin. This one is a rurouni… Anyway, I just came here to tell you that the dimensions are fixed…"

"… Then shouldn't you be going home?…"

"Oro?" Kenshin looked around and saw that almost all the others were gone and the portal was beginning to close. "Oro!! Goodbye!" Kenshin then ran in the direction of the portal. 

Suddenly, the Great Will of the Macrocosm appeared. "Before I go, I will whisk everyone back to life and into their appropriate dimension… Here we go!" *Pwit! Bloop! Clang-Clang-Clang!*

~~~

A few hours later, everyone, including Gary and a revived Milly, were sitting in front of the Dragon Balls outside. They were in Old Augusta, where Knives had gone with the Trix Rabbit when he exploded. F. Vish had disappeared as a result of the timeline changing. That version of Vish no longer exists. Which is kind of sad, when you think about it… He went through all that, just to be erased… Oh well! Who wants ice cream?

Anyway, Milly had just summoned the dragon. "State your wish…" he bellowed. It's my poker night again…"

Milly smiled. "Hi! Could you please bring back Mr. Knives?"

"Okay, yeah sure… Whatever… it has been done…"

And so, the dragon left, the balls split up. 

Vash: Ow!

Me: Shut up, you!

Anyway, Knives was now standing there. "Um, what the hell?… I was just minding my own business in psuedo-heaven being fed Spirit Trix, when I get sent here… Why did you revive me, damn it?! I liked it there!"

Vash coughed. "It's nice to see you too, Knives…"

Sayuri raised an eyebrow. "Psuedo-Heaven?… What's that?"

"It's basically King Enma's way of saying I'm too bad for Heaven, but he doesn't even want to think of what would happen in Hell, so he went through the trouble of creating me a new place…"

"… Oh… I see…"

Suddenly, Vish hopped out of Meryl's arms and walked over to Knives and hugged his leg. "Unky!"

Meryl gasped. "Oh my god, he walked! And talked! Sort of!"

Vash laughed. "Good job, Knives! Now can you get him to drive a car?" He joked. 

Knives sweat dropped. "Ha ha…" He looked down at Vish and slightly smiled... Slightly…

~~~

And so, in another dimension…

F. Vish stands in a desert. He is facing off against Shishio. He turns to the 'camera'. "So, thought I was gone, right? Nope! It turns out this alternate reality was created, and now I'm about to royally kick Shishio's ass… The rest of the rebellion is resting… Now here I go!" Vish runs over and has his ass handed to him. "Ow… Maybe I should… Practice more…"

**_Better luck next time, Space Cowboy…_**

~~~

**Next Episode!**

Vash: Hey, guys! It's me, Vash! Next episode, Summer Vacation finally ends and it's back to school for the gang! Knives just wants to rest after all this, though, so he gets a sub to fill in for him as Math teacher!

Kaite: Eh, I don't like the looks of this guy…

Wolfwood: Well, whatever… I just hope the girls hormones are in check this time around… I keep running out of shirts. 

Vash: Everything seems to go normal, but at the end of the day he makes us an offer that will change our already strange lives even more!

Milly: Well don't miss the next episode of The Random Adventures of Vash, "Back to School! The Mysterious Substitute!"

~~~

Ack, finally done… 


End file.
